No, No, They're Yelling "Luuuuuuuuuuug"

Most people wouldn't consider having more errors than RBI's at the halfway point of the season a good thing. In fact, Julio Lugo and Theo Epstein are probably the only two that would.

That is the case for RedSox shortstop (or shortstopsnothing, HAI FIVE) Julio Lugo.

"What the fuck do you want from me? I stink. I never said I didn't." was Lugo's most recent reaction to comments from the crowd and media about his performance.

Lugo was brought to Boston for his offense, a move that nobody could understand when it was made. To say that we as spectators still don't understand it would be an understatement.

"Well, he's got about as much range as a three toed sloth, and about as much power as a Happy Meal wind-up toy. But hey, his average isn't bad, and he can steal some bases." General Manager Theo Epstein said in, uh, defense.

Granted, Lugo's batting average is .274, not bad. However, what this stat omits is the only thing he can hit is a single, even with his speed that can stretch decently hit balls into extra bases. Lugo's slugging percentage is a pathetic .347.

At the halfway point in the season, Lugo has one more home run than I do. He has 18 RBI's, with 19 errors. He is on a pace to record 38 botched plays at shortstop, and that's only the ones that are official.

Lugo recorded 22 errors in 2001, 20 in 2003, 25 in 2004 and 24 in 2005. This is not an off year, this is Julio Lugo.

Though the chances of Lugo being traded away before the deadline this year are essentially zero, look for him to be moved at the end of the season.

"Pittsburgh has a nice milkcrate with brooms mounted to the sides of it. They even put a paper plate with a smiley face on the top, it looks pretty cool. That's probably where we're leaning in the offseason" Epstein commented.

Further comments on the situation could not be extracted from Epstein, as he feels leaking further information on the intent to trade Lugo would lower his trade value.

"What mothafuckin trade value?" Lugo responded, because he was there at the press conference. Which, by the way, totally happened.