Oh it's true. It's damn true. Phil Jackson and his Zen Buddhist bullshit were no match for the green guys last night. The Celtics clubbed the Lakers like a seal off the coast of Russia.
"Tell the white chicks in LA to watch their back, Kobe is going to be looking for a non-consentual grudge fuck" Celtics coach Doc Rivers commented after the game.
"Jack Nicholson can add two things to his Bucket List now, sit down and shut up. Mmm hmm, even if Mars Attacks you'll still be seeing us taking out his beloved Lakers on ESPN all day. The Lakers could have used A Few Good Men last night. They should change their name to The Departed. Also, Chinatown." Paul Pierce said with a smile.
"MAAAAAAAH" Lakers douchebag Pau Gasol said after the game, probably because he's a llama. Fuckin look at him. Google Images a llama, then Pau Gasol.
"They played too rough. I think I got a splinter in my vagina" Sasha Vujacic said in the locker room after the game. Immediately after, he went flying across the locker room and landed in a heap because a reporter walking by brushed up against him.
"MOTHER SHITTER! Now I got to come out of retirement, being the sixteen time World Champion just doesn't sound impressive anymore" wrestling legend Ric Flair said while looking for something resembling a turnbuckle to throw himself off of.
The Celtics victory parade will have no scheduled stop points, it's just going to roll on through parts of the city. If you want the route, go check out their website, what am I, a fuckin tour guide?
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