Who Says Soccer Is Boring?

I do. Everyone does. But hey, this story deserves some mention. That’s some wild and wacky stuff right thurr.

The New England Revolution, my local MLS team (apparently), had a very interesting flight today. En route to some stupid place to continue competition in Super Liga 2008, some shit where they suspend the MLS season for the top US clubs to battle Mexico’s finest, the Revolution, as well as the rest of the passengers (it’s fucking soccer, they don’t have their own plane, ok?) were forced to make an emergency landing in Oklahoma City.

The reason? A man, name not released and reportedly 22 years of age, decided halfway through the flight it would be fun to go to the bathroom, take all his clothes off, and come out.

“I was the first to notice him. I turned to Craig Tornberg, our general manager, and said LOOK AT THE COCK ON THAT ONE!” director Mike Burns said.

The man was talked into returning to the bathroom and putting his clothes on without physical confrontation, but after returning to his seat attempted to open the emergency door shortly therafter. This didn’t go over so well.

“Airplane? Open door? Nah. Fuck that shit.” Commented goalkeeper coach Gwynne Williams.

The rest of the team seemed to agree. The man in question was subdued and bound with tie wraps after his failed attempt to open the door.

“I don’t know if he was drinking, on pills or whatever, but dude’s got a fuckin screw loose. I mean, you don’t take your clothes off and run around on an airplane. You do that at Denny’s.” said a passenger who requested their name not be released. His name is Ian Stevens, go kick his ass.

The FBI and local officials were waiting for the questionable character in Oklahoma City. No reports have been released on what repercussions he will face, but in todays world, one would assume the penalties will be severe. If you’re going to fuck around, an airplane is pretty much the last place you want to do it in this country. People get pissed.

“FRANK AND BEANS” was the only decipherable quote uttered by the instigator.

.... She Couldn't Have

Ok, this one will be a little different than the usual theme here, so bear with me readers. Who am I kidding, reader. Nah, actually I have a few. I would even run out of fingers counting them.

I was watching that Wimbeldon Final yesterday, or South African Cricket match, whatever the hell it was. Jesus. With the delays I think it took close to eight hours. Stay tuned, coming up after this, the ABV... APV.. AV... the beach volley ball league thing Colorado tournament.

"Is it guys?"

"No, it's girls"

"Oh, ok, sweet"

Hell. I'm dicking around on the laptop, the tv is background for me. Might as well leave chicks in bikinis on. Team one is Misty May and her partner..... hold on Googling... Kerri Walsh. There ya go. They're actually dominant in their sport, it's just very few people give a fuck. Team two is.... alright, really. I'm not Googling that, nobody cares. The darker of the two on the team had some nice features. Shut the fuck up, how is that racist?

Camera starts behind May and Walsh. Nice. Those uniforms walking forward in slo-mo look great from behind. Facial and frontal features? .... Egh. Not so great. Anyway, I'm wasting your time, heres the point of this post.

Misty May is being quickly interviewed after the first set and asked about why they struggled so much to capture the match point. Or something like that. She was asked about having difficulty with something.

Don't have Tivo. But I was for a moment paying attention when this happened, and I'm 99% sure Misty May's response was...... wait for it....

"I don't know, we just got back from overseas and I think the ball hangs up there a little longer here".

Yup.

Somebody who rips and clips off their Tivo and posts on YouTube, first of all, naughty naughty, second of all, find this and put it up. I need this verified. That's a once in a lifetime line.