Harrison : "I didn't shoot that guy that I had a fight with earlier today with that gun that's registered in my name"

Yup. That's the story. Marvin Harrison had nothing to do with the attempted shooting of the guy outside his bar (or at his car wash, as the Arizona Republic reports. Whoops!) in Philadelphia called Playmakers on Tuesday.

Sure, the gun in question was registered to Harrison.

Sure, Marvin has 25 guns registered under his name. (Not to be a pessimist, but I think repeating REGISTERED might be relevant here)

Sure, he had a fistfight with the victim of the incident earlier that day.

Sure, Harrison followed (or "escorted", if you prefer his to use his terminology) the victim out of the bar.

Sure, the gun was found at his car wash (yeah, he owns one. The AP above still fucked the story up) in a bucket, and it was at that car wash the police found him to question him.

"So where's anything linking this to him, motherfucker?" Colts GM and celebrated crybaby douche bag Bill Polian commented.

The rage in Polian's voice should not be confused with an admission of Harrison's guilt, as Polian is perpetually an angry, angry man. Did you ever see that commercial for that NFL.com web browser game with the cartoon guy wearing the football helmet with horns jumping up and down and screaming? That's pretty much Bill Polian.

A phone call by Polian was left on an answering machine at the local police station, which my moles leaked to me.

"Yeah, you're gonna find a gun in a bucket there. I think you'll discover Bill Belichick's fingerprints are all over it" the message proclaimed.

Unfortunately for Polian, winking and waving a stack of $100's as a bribe don't transfer very well over a phone line.

The injuries to the victim have been varied but are not serious, with nothing more than a nick on the shoulder or injury to the hand being reported by anyone reputable (or me). Harrison has yet to be charged with involvement in the incident, and there is little indicating he will be.