Surely, I was not the only one watching the NFL Draft this weekend who saw Chad Henne and said "that guy looks like Ben Roethlisberger on a diet of cheeseburgers". Seriously, look at him. He's Roethlisberger with a bigger head. Physically, not mentally. Nobody has an ego as overinflated as Ben.
I decided to talk with Chad and bring this up. The segue into the question was perfect, as I instinctively punched him in the face when meeting him then apologized "sorry, I thought you were Ben Roethlisberger".
"I know. I saw that guy get drafted by Pittsburgh, and was like, fuck. You look just like me, please don't be an overrated piece of shit."
Unfortunately for Chad, that's exactly what happened.
"God I hate that guy. He's all like, look at me, I'm Chad Henne with a less pronounced jaw, watch Chris Collinsworth gag on my cock because I can hand a football to somebody 50 times a game. What a son of a bitch." Henne ranted, becoming increasingly angry.
My contributions to the conversation became very small, as not only would Chad not stop to let me speak, but I was busy cheering him on as he continued to slam Handoffberger.
"I'm going to take the Miami Dolphins, show them a couple highlight videos so they understand what sport they're supposed to be playing, then I'm going to shove it up Roethlisbergers ass. Uh, the football, I mean. You'll cut that line out, right?"
I nodded as Henne left to go meet some of his new teammates. It is unknown if Miami even plays Pittsburgh this year, as I don't care enough to look.
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